Here’s how to communicate a piece of feedback about something personal, such as the off-color jokes your partner told at the office party, or the short skirt your daughter wants to wear to her new waitressing job, or the thank you note that your ten year old still has not written to his grandma.
First tell the person you have some brief feedback to share and ask if they’d be open to hearing it.
Then ask them when a good time would be for the two of you to talk in private. This part is really important — embarrassment definitely interferes with trust and open communication.
Serve up a feedback sandwich:
compliment
brief feedback in an I-message
invite them to share their response
acknowledge their perspective
compliment/good wishes
Here’s how it can sound:
I think it’s terrific that you got a job!
I’m concerned that you might receive some
uncomfortable attention from customers if
you wear that skirt to the restaurant.
What do you think about that?
Sounds like you want to wear it today
and see how it goes so you can make
an informed decision next time.
Thanks for listening, and I hope
your shift goes great today!
And of course feedback sandwiches should always be garnished with a big helping of respect for the other person’s right to do with it as they wish.
Hope this helps!
