postcards from nowhere

greetings!

We don't have cable or regular TV at home, but whenever we go on vacation
I like to check out the current programming on the hotel's TV.  This is 
how I discovered my new hero -- Steve Irwin, a.k.a. The Crocodile Hunter.
This man lives and enjoys life to the absolute maximum degree.  

No holds barred, he literally dives into situations that give me an 
anxiety attack when I just think about them.  He intentionally jumps 
off boats into swamps at night and wrestles crocodiles into submission 
in the black water.  It's really an unbelievable sight.  

Not only that, but his heart is just huge.  Either that, or he's a really
convincing actor and I'm really gullible!  But he seems to truly adore 
his wife, and his baby daughter, and all the crocodiles he rescues.  

He even calls venomous snakes and nasty lizards 'beauties', and all 
indications are that he truly does see and appreciate the splendor 
in creatures that most folks consider to be repulsive.  (ok, who am I 
kidding with that 'most folks' thing.  I mean me!) 

Anyhow, I actually went out and purchased my first very own DVD so 
I could watch The Crocodile Hunter whenever I wanted.  This is 
perfect for me, because I prefer my risks to be delivered vicariously 
whenever possible.  

This is the same reason why my youngest brother, who has run marathons 
on every continent, (yes, even Antarctica) is such a welcome guest in 
our home.  I love hearing about adventures while I'm safe, warm, 
and dry in my living room.  I'm a dedicated armchair traveler.  
Bring on the slide shows!

So anyway, back to The Crocodile Hunter.  In his fierce determination 
to minimize harm to the crocs, he refuses to tranquilize them during 
rescue and transport.  Instead, about 10 big strong people jump on 
the croc's back and hold it down while one of them covers its eyes.  
As soon as it can't see anything, the croc can't identify a threat, 
and it chills right out.  

When they've transported it to safety, they uncover its eyes, and upon 
spotting the water it heads right in and makes itself at home.  
A few big hunks of raw meat later, all is once again right with its world.

After far too many viewings, I'm hearing faint echoes of my high school 
literature teacher's voice  -- "Perhaps, class, the author has intended 
the crocodiles to be a metaphor for the wild and ferocious nature of 
the human mind?"

Not that I would want to be literally blindfolded, but there does 
seem to be a way to help my mind settle down by blocking out 
certain kinds of input.  Maybe, just like the crocodiles, 
if my mind can't identify a threat, I won't be stressed out by it.  

Now, since 99.99% of the threats in my life actually aren't, 
(threats, I mean), this would come in real handy.  
My life is hardly ever in actual danger. Yet my fight/flight/freeze 
response gets triggered all the time.  

So I'm developing yet another one of my crackpot theories:  
I need 10 big strong people to volunteer to jump on top of me 
and cover my eyes when I start going into one of my paranoid freak outs. 
(just kidding - y'all live too far away for this to be practical.  
I'd need you to live on my street and be on call 24/7 for this to work.)

What I really need is a different kind of blindfold.  My friend 
Drew Rozell, who is also a coach, approached this topic in a 
particularly intriguing Drewsletter last year.  
(here's the address if you want to read the whole article:  
http://evolutioncoaching.com/drewsletterjune2002.html)

Rather, I’m asking what would happen if you made the decision 
that you just no longer had problems. That the events that occur 
or the things that need to get done that we’d normally approach 
as problems were just events. Just life. Nothing wrong, nothing 
that we need to react over, nothing that would justify putting 
us in a really negative place. Just life.

Slip on those cool 'no problem' blinders, and formerly triggering 
events become interesting, but not threatening.  It sure beats the 
worry and drama and focused attention that I usually give 
to my 'problems'.

The key seems to be this:  it's all about expectations.  
If I expect things to be forever perfect, then I'm setting myself 
up for a problem when the nonnegotiable law of entropy inevitably 
does its thing. 

Or how about in relationship?  Let's just hypothetically (?!) say 
that 'someone' has gone through the first three decades of life 
thinking that in a GOOD relationship, there's no conflict.  
When conflict rears it's head, it's fight/flight/freeze city.  
Big crisis.  Must be resolved immediately.  Frantic efforts 
to restore agreement.  Wailing and tears and gnashing of teeth.  
Agony.

Now, what if I changed my expectations, and figured well, now, fer 
shure somethin's bound to change 'round here sometime soon, but I reck'n 
I'll be able to handle it.   (it just sounds better in my head 
when I say it hillbilly style, for some reason.)

Now when the dish breaks, I'm not surprised.  I'm not telling myself 
this wasn't supposed to happen.  I'm not too busy resisting reality 
to take action.  I just do what needs doing.

And when a disagreement occurs, it's not a crisis.  When my resources 
aren't tied up telling me how wrong it is that this is happening, 
and that surely this means something very ominous, I just might have 
the clarity and energy to work through the conflict, or to patiently 
hang out with it while it runs its course.

Just like those crocs, my alarm systems won't be triggered, because 
my mind has not been able to identify the situation as a problem.  
It's just life.  No stress response is activated, and no struggle 
against reality ensues.  (hey, I wonder if when the blinders finally 
come off those crocodiles, and they see the nice pool of water and 
those big hunks of meat, they can hardly believe their good luck?!)

Maybe the biggest problem is the idea that there shouldn't be any 
problems, and the thought that if I can just get things all perfectly 
set up once and for all, they'll run smoothly forevermore.  

Entropy, you say?  I'll have to look that up in my son's science book.  
I must have been daydreaming in physics class that day.  
Or is thermodynamics taught in chemistry?

Anyway, could this be what all those bumper stickers are getting at 
when they say Sh-t Happens?

As always, I love reading your responses.  Keep 'em coming!

take care,
karen  

ps- It just occurred to me to look for The Crocodile Hunter online.  
gosh I love the internet!  here's his website address if you're curious: 
www.crocodilehunter.com