postcards from nowhere

Greetings!

Today's hot topic:  Trusting No.

You already know about trusting yes.  It's everywhere -- follow 
your heart, follow your bliss, follow your dream, do what you 
love and the money will follow.  But what about following no?

Is it ok to say no to a reasonable request simply because you 
don't want to do it or wouldn't like doing it?  Can you trust 
that your refusal will open the way for the assignment to make 
its way to someone who greets it with a big yes?

In one of my classes last week, a fellow coach confided that 
there was a certain type of client issue that she just did not 
enjoy working with.  The responses from classmates varied, 
including tips about how to get over her aversion, and suggestions 
she could use to move clients out of this particular area into 
one where she (and the client) would be more comfortable.  

Bet you can already guess what I said.  "So don't work with that 
type of client!  Maintain a database of other coaches who are very 
competent and love that type of work, and give the client a referral 
with your compliments."

Which sure seems like a win-win-win to me.  The client gets sent to a 
coach who is energized and excited by his/her issues, and both coaches 
get to focus their energy and attention on clients they truly enjoy.

Where did we get the idea that we all have to be well-rounded?  I guess 
it doesn't really matter where it came from, but I know where I want 
it to go.  To the belief recycling facility!  Then it could come back 
out as a new, more useful belief.  How about this one: 

There are enough people, and enough jobs, assignments, projects, and 
duties, so that every single one of us could do only what we love and 
are good at, and everything would still get done. (and probably in half 
the time!) 

I mentioned this concept to a new acquaintance about ten years ago.  
I still remember her horrified response, "But that would lead to chaos!  
If we all did only what we wanted, who would drive buses and pick up the 
garbage and things like that?  Our society would fall apart!"

Bet you can guess my response to that one, too.  "So, let it fall apart! 
In the unlikely event that there really is NOT ONE person in this town 
who wants to drive a bus, then I guess we'll figure out some other 
method of getting around.  I bet there's probably someone who likes 
to drive trains, taxis, trolleys ... "   ... you get the idea.  She 
looked at me like I was crazy.  (and I might be ...  but we're still 
friends today, and she refers folks to me for coaching.  So I guess 
it's the useful kind of crazy.)  

I like the vision of living in a world where my kid's bus driver is 
there because he/she wants to be, not has to be.  I'd love 
knowing that the person who cooked my lunch at a restaurant did it 
with joy and creativity, not anger and frustration.  

Yeah, I've always been an idealist.  But I like to think I'm a practical 
idealist.  So I tackle social change one person at a time, and I encourage
baby steps.  

Let's free up those around us to admit the truth about what kind of work 
they love.  Let's respect no when it happens and seize the opportunity 
to look for a yes.  

Maybe when you peer over the huge stack of unfiled papers on your desk, 
you might discover a person who absolutely loves filing sitting right 
next to you.  And perhaps you enjoy a task that he dreads.  With a 
simple trade the overall productivity in your section could skyrocket.

If you are putting something off that needs to be done, try using the 
last of 3 D's:  Do it, Dump it, or Delegate it.  Look around, and I bet 
you'll find someone who thrives while doing whatever it is that depletes 
you.  

Let's expand our thinking out of the well-rounded individual and into 
the well-rounded system.  We all accept that a liver cell can't do the 
job of a brain cell.  But without one, the other would die.  The model 
for specialization is right in front of us in nature, and our very 
existence on this planet proves that it works!

Hearts need livers.  Writers need proofreaders.  Sales departments 
need production departments.  Cooks need dishwashers.  And vice versa.  
The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.  I hope someday job 
salaries reflect this truth.

But for now, baby steps:  Find out what you love to do.  Find out what 
those around you love to do.  Whenever possible, trade for a win-win.  
Play around with saying no, and trust that someone else will say a 
heartfelt yes.  If no one does, then please reexamine the necessity 
for this task in the first place.  

Let's work from a place of accessing our strengths, not bolstering our 
weaknesses.  Be proud of your unique abilities and talents.  Share them 
for the good of all.  Let the liver cell give its full attention to its 
task ... let each cell in the body focus completely and exclusively on 
its work.  The whole organism will benefit.

Let me know how it goes ... 

Take care,

karen