standing tall

my inner landscape is changing so fast that I hardly recognize it compared to 24 hours ago.

but before I tell you about that, I first want to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has reached out to me. I feel so incredibly blessed by your love and support, and I want you to know that the time and effort you put into connecting with me matters, and is very much appreciated.

A lot has happened since yesterday! I was super inspired by a story one of my above-mentioned supporters shared with me. Here's my take on it. Her magnificent words are in italics:

She also has a friend who is openly critical of her, and accuses her of being in denial. And after her friend witnessed the dynamic she has been so critical of in a new context, she not only retracted her criticism, but actually expressed appreciation for my friend's approach.

... and after she shared her new perspective with me, I did not even feel that it mattered that much. It just made me realize how arbitrary and relative everything is.

All that happened was that her friend had a new experience, and her whole perspective shifted. So her original opinion, which she was so confident about as to accuse my friend of being in denial because she did not agree with it, was based only on what she had seen, experienced, and processed up to that point. And as such,

it was only ever one perspective in a universe of infinite possible perspectives. So harmless, really...

The whole thing feels like one big DUH, doesn't it? It's so obvious that there's no rational reason to ever let someone's opinion trigger me. But it happens anyway. Hey Karen, welcome to the human race. :)

The other exciting development is an extension of my body awareness experiment. I've known I have some postural issues for some time, and have experienced useful insights from Hellerwork, the Alexander Technique, and Pilates. I ordered The New Rules of Posture by Mary Bond from Amazon over a year ago, feeling a strong intuition that it would also be helpful, but hadn't felt any compulsion to actually read it since it arrived.

Well, it called to me from the bookshelf yesterday. And as it turns out, it is basically a body awareness primer! I am completely enthralled with what I am learning. It's chock full of experiments to help you become aware of your body dynamics. I am still stunned that simply feeling and releasing just one teeny tiny muscle can trigger the realignment of my entire spine.

So actually, it's not just my inner landscape that is changing. The way I look and move is changing as well. Even after just one day of playing with these little postural shifts, I feel much stronger, and much more supported and stable from the inside. I don't need to lean back on chairs as much. I don't get as tired while standing and walking. My body feels more actively engaged than passively relaxed.

It's hard to miss the obvious parallel between what is happening physically and my emotional journey. Because as I learn to support myself more and more internally, the people around me can be as critical and unsupportive as they want, and I will remain capable of standing tall in myself, or of peacefully walking away. I'm very psyched.

Here's a link to the website, which has some good reading on it. I'm really enjoying the blog there. http://www.newrulesofposture.com/