oh yeah ...

... I keep forgetting that it's not about figuring out what to say; it's really much simpler than that.

Mental processing and searching for the right words are two of my default strategies to try to open my heart again, which for some reason seems prone to closing when I hear stuff that feels negative, prejudicial, or critical.

And sometimes these strategies do work for me. But other times, they take me further into closure if I pursue them with tunnel vision and forget that there are lots of other ways to open my heart that don't involve talking or anyone else's presence or cooperation. For example: taking a walk, washing dishes, gardening, or reading something inspiring.

My reminder was gracefully delivered to me this morning. A neighborhood cat who usually loves to be petted has recently begun periodically hissing and striking out at people. I watched as my friend reached his hand out to her even though he had no idea whether she would snuggle up or lash out this time.

As he leaned over, he said to me, "She can't help it. She's been outside a long time, and she's gotten defensive. She's declawed." That's an open heart talking. No anger or defensiveness, no clever comeback, no agenda to help that cat see things from a new perspective, no taking her behavior personally. Just compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. It was beautiful to witness.

I see animals call forth that kind of love from people all the time, which is why I think it would be cool if we could find a way to have pets in schools, prisons, hospitals, and nursing homes. Love like that heals the one who gives it. Opening the heart is very good medicine.

So while I do like having my list of twenty things, and I am enjoying my newfound curiosity about what each situation will give birth to, I am also grateful for the reminder that there's really only one problem that ever needs to be solved. Because until my heart is open again, the words really don't matter.