harassed into clarity

thanks to The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, I have a new way to look at my favorite critics and cynics:

They show me what I do not want.

My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to use that information to increase my clarity about what I do want, keep my attention focused there, and see what happens.

from p. 231:

Don't ask the person or people who helped you define what you want to become what you want so that you can have what you want.

and p. 232:

And if the others could speak it like it really is, they'd say, "Hey, it's not my job to be everything you want. It was my job to harass you into clarity about what you want. And now that you're clear about what you want, can't you see I'm not it? Don't try to make me be it. Focus upon what you want and let that come to you, and leave me alone!"

Seems to me this works for any type of relationship -- with friends, lovers, homes, jobs, pets, and even cars. Some people, things, or situations pass through our lives to harass us into clarity -- to play the role of a catalyst, and then to release us to find what we desire elsewhere.

And sometimes it turns out that our newfound clarity matches up with what that person, thing, or situation wants to become. We realize we want a red car, and our Honda needs a paint job anyway. We realize we prefer a shorter commute, and a new branch opens up closer to home. We realize we'd rather kiss a nonsmoker, and he decides he is ready to quit.

When that happens, we can stay together awhile longer and enjoy our mutual expansion. But either way -- with or without the catalyst -- we are compelled to move ahead toward what we want once we have identified it. There's no going back.