a radical choice

I sat down a few days ago to write a post about my reaction to reports that Colleen and Daniel Hauser had gone on the run. They are the mother and son who preferred to use alternative modalities to treat the boy's cancer, and fled to avoid being ordered by the court to submit to traditional chemotherapy.

I must admit, this case strikes close to my heart. For the past twenty years or so my family has been using alternative modalities with great success, and therefore we have spent next to no time in the traditional medical system. I even gave birth at home.

I don't like the idea that the courts could have forced my children into conventional medical treatment. If Daniel were my son, I would likely support his desire to reject a deliberate injection of poison.

So I feel a lot of empathy for this family. In fact, I got pretty riled up about the whole thing. I could go on to list all my perceived injustices, but I won't, because that's not the point of this post.

The point is that somewhere along the line, as I was ruminating on this poor kid and his mom and feeling so bad for them, I heard Abraham's voice pop into my head saying, Nothing is more important than that you feel good. (If you are not familiar with Abraham-Hicks, this statement will probably sound self-serving, narcissistic, and even worse, because it's taken out of a much larger context. A visit to http://www.abraham-hicks.com/ might help to put it in perspective. )

And I realized then that the tape looping in my head about injustice and the cruel imposition of values and yadda yadda yadda did not feel good to me AT ALL. Nor was it helping Daniel and his family. So, for what might be the very first time in all my years of listening to good ol' Abe, I decided to take their advice and "reach for a thought that feels better."

And the instant I made this choice, I felt my awareness zoom out, like a camera panning back. I have no idea if the thought that felt better to me is true or not, but that's not really what's important. Here's the thought: perhaps this mother and child, at a soul level, signed up for the job of bringing this issue into the media spotlight, so that change can happen.

I know that's all woo woo and such, but it felt so much better to me than thinking that these kind and innocent and well-intended people were being victimized by The System.

When I panned out, and remembered that there is always more going on than meets the eye, my outrage just melted. I felt gratitude and compassion for the family, and for the courts and others involved as well. Each of them is playing an important role in a larger production.

It takes a lot of gumption for a soul to sign up to play the bad guy, because plenty of venom will be spewed in his direction. A lot of people will forget that at his core, he is light and love just like we all are.

Which reminds me of a book I really like: The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch.





Anyway, let me back up and say a bit more about my statement that it is not important to me whether this 'bigger production' idea is true or not.

It seems to me that our lives are made up of a string of moments, like a strand of pearls. We can experience only one at a time, which makes this moment the most important moment of our existence.

There's no one passing judgment on how we choose to spend our moments, so there's nothing inherently wrong about letting myself stew in anger for a while if I want to.

But if I have a choice, and I finally perceive that I really do, I'll choose a more pleasant experience, thank you very much.

As an added bonus, any actions I choose to take from a stance of compassion will be far more efficient and effective than reactions that stem from anger, revenge, or outrage. Since I'm really not that interested in adding to the chain of pain, I like finding ways to call forth the best in others.

After the compassion was flowing again, I found myself simply feeling love and gratitude for everyone involved in this case. I saw no more good guys or bad guys ... just a bunch of people trying to do what they think is best.

And that was a relief.

postscript May 30,2009:
Colleen and Danny voluntarily returned home, and he has reluctantly resumed chemotherapy. The family has started a website and is posting updates on his conditon: www.dannyhauser.com.