sprung

Along with tiny bowls of ice cream and tiny spoons, I also love tiny flowers.

Part of the fun is waiting for them. I watch for the little green sprouts to poke out of the dirt, then check on them eagerly every day. I don't want to miss a single moment of their progression into blooming.

I suspect I would not enjoy them quite as much if they were always there ... they might just fade into the background. It's the metamorphosis that delights me -- the transformation in just a few weeks' time from little green nubs to resplendent color.

I took this picture on my walk today to remind myself of something important: I WANTED my life to be this way. All of it ... the pain, the suffering, the growth, the waiting, the wanting, the achievement. The ups and downs. The losses and the gains. The ebb and the flow. The dirt and the blossoms.

I wanted the feeling of my hands in the clay. I asked for a big blob, rather than the finished product, so I could mold it myself. I also wanted to be able to smush it all up and start over. I wanted to experience transformation, not static perfection.

I am living exactly the life that I asked for. I wanted to play with free will, and I am generously presented with opportunities to exercise it in every moment. I may not always be free to choose what is going on around me, but my decision about where to focus my attention, what to think, or how to feel has never ever been restricted.

Sometimes, I forget that...