one down, one to go

We went out to an Italian restaurant to celebrate my son's 18th birthday last night. He's home on leave from the Coast Guard for a few days before he heads to a five month Electrician's Mate training in Virginia.

After a huge family style meal, they served us two giant pieces of RED birthday cake with white frosting and green sprinkles (the colors of the Italian flag, I reckon.) It looked disgusting. We ate the entire thing in less than two minutes.

Then we came home and watched home videos from when he was a baby. Life was so simple back then - the pace was slow, my house was clean and orderly, my marriage was stable and nurturing -- there was nothing much to manage or obsess about. Heck, we didn't even have the internet back then.

I had forgotten that when you are parenting a young child, life is all about simple pleasures and endless exploration. A walk around the building could take an hour, and with every step he noticed something new that warranted a thorough, hands-on examination.

Each worm on the sidewalk after the rain needed to be escorted back to his home in the grass. The garbage truck driver needed to be waved at. The mail needed to be retrieved within minutes after entering the box. These were important jobs, and little T was just the guy to do them.

I was amused to see that his penchant for leadership was already in place way back then. In one video, he was building a wooden sandbox using a power drill with my dad; his little dimpled hands trying in vain to squeeze the trigger and hold it steady on the screw at the same time. He wanted to take charge of the project so badly. He was only eighteen months old at the time.

Next week he'll be getting his first credit card and registering to vote. He's already been living independently in the Coast Guard for eight months, so these things are really just technicalities, but eighteen still feels like a milestone. He can finally take full charge of his life in every way.

It's been a long time coming. Some kids are in no hurry to grow up, but he's been waiting almost eighteen years for this!

Tonight I am feeling tremendous gratitude for the joy and privilege of raising my children the way I wanted to. Whatever else I may or may not accomplish in this lifetime, I will always have that.

A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… But the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.

--Forest E. Witcraft

You can be important in the life of a child whether you are a parent or not. Studies on resilience tell us that if only ONE adult in a child's life is consistently available to see and reflect their innocence and goodness, listen deeply, and encourage their dreams, IT IS ENOUGH.

Look around ... there are children everywhere: nieces and nephews, children of friends, neighbors, Little Sisters and Brothers who need mentors. If you have room in your heart for a child, please invite one in. Not every adult feels this calling, of course, and that's fine. But if you do, you don't have to wait until you adopt or give birth. There are lots of ways to play an important role in the life of a child.

And by the way, I'm not encouraging this only because it's good for the child. Loving a child changes your own heart in ways you can't possibly anticipate. It's the ultimate win-win.