digging

Thanks for all the kind words and wishes you have sent my way. I am quite surprised to find that this grieving experience is not at all like any from my past. Pleasantly surprised, actually.

Maybe I finally have learned enough energetic healing techniques to ease my own way. Or maybe there is some other kind of grace beneath the equanimity and acceptance I am feeling. My friends have certainly been amazing.

Whatever the reason, I am processing the loss quickly, without closing my heart. I am feeling tender, but not bruised ... grateful more than sad ... hopeful more than forlorn.

I can feel my ego trying to play the blame game, like it thinks that if I get mad, I'll get over it faster. But it just can't quite locate that groove anymore, and I end up smiling about it. He's a great guy. I love him still. Our relationship simply came to completion. There's no place for any blame to stick.

I think I will be ready to make some entries in my Wish Book tonight. I want to record the essence of all that was good about us together while it is still fresh, to make sure I never settle for less than that magic ever again.

And my musical connection to the Universe remains blissfully strong. Check out this song by Incubus that was on my car radio just now. The lyrics are below it:





We all have a weakness,
but some of ours are easy to identify,
look me in the eye,
and ask for forgiveness,
we'll make a pact to never speak that word again,
yes, you are my friend.

We all have something
that digs at us,
at least we dig each other.
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday.

If I turn into another
dig me up from under what
is covering the better part of me.
Sing this song
remind me that we'll always have
each other when everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness
that cleverly attaches and multiplies
no matter how we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
at least we dig each other.

So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another,
dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.

Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
when everything else is gone.

Oh, each other when everything else is gone.
Oooh
(15x)

If I turn into another
dig me up from under what is covering
the better part of me.
Sing this song
remind me that we'll always have each other
when everything else is gone.

Oh, each other
when everything else is gone.