WordWeb

This is a super cool free download! Just put your cursor over any word on your screen and hit Ctrl-Alt-W, and a popup opens with a dictionary definition, synonyms, antonyms, and other useful info.

http://www.download.com/WordWeb/3000-2279_4-10003201.html

regarding relationship

No matter how intensely intertwined you find yourself with another person, your relationship is affected many times more by the thoughts that are moving around in your own mind than by the other person who is moving around in your house or in your life experience.


That is why it is so interesting to us to see people working so hard at controlling one another while working very little on controlling their own thoughts and perceptions -- especially since they have no real control over another and they do have complete control of their own thoughts and perceptions.

~ Abraham-Hicks


I gotta be honest ... for me, sometimes it just seems so much easier to try to control someone else than to control my own thoughts and perceptions. Historically, I think I've had better luck doing it that way.

At least sometimes people appear to respond to my cool reasoning, passionate point-making, or beseeching requests. Unfortunately, my own thoughts and perceptions seem immune to such tactics; often maintaining their original trajectory until I go to sleep or distract them in some other way.

Besides, it's kinda rewarding to successfully influence people. When I actually do manage to get someone else to do what I want, I usually feel pretty satisfied for a while. But it's sort of a false and fragile sense of gratification, built like a house of cards. One little breeze of self-determination on the part of the other person; one hint of an idea that maybe they'd prefer to do something other than what I want, and my conditional contentment comes crashing down.

So I'm working on this. When I feel unhappy, I try to remember to take a look at myself first, to see what I am thinking or perceiving that could be creating my discomfort.

And lots of times, instead of doing that, I just try to get the other guy to change whatever he or she is doing. I only remember to take a look inside myself after that initiative is not successful.

Oh well. I'm okay with it. Constructing a strong foundation of internal mastery takes some time. No doubt there will be plenty of opportunities to try again.

an opportunity to help

Here comes Thanksgiving! Regardless of the state of the economy, most of us can still find much to be thankful for. Tonight, I am grateful that I can make a contribution to an orphan from Sudan who is a student at my son's high school. Susan was terribly burned in an apartment fire earlier this week.

Here's the email I received from the director of the school, Ed Porritt. Even if I can only send $5, I always contribute something to grassroots efforts like this. I figure every little bit helps, and a lot of small contributions can still add up to something big.

I would like to share with you some sad news about one of our fellow Catalyst students. Saturday evening Susan Moi was seriously burned when her apartment in Boulder caught fire and was airlifted to the University of Colorado Medical Center Burn Unit. Susan is severely burned, currently sedated, and expected to be in the hospital for at least a month. Thankfully her medical status has improved from critical to serious. An orphan from Sudan, Susan works for her rent and food, and sends money to her brothers who still live in a refugee camp in Africa. A dedicated, hard-working student (taking three math classes at once at Catalyst), Susan was scheduled to graduate in May and plans to go on to nursing school.

During our recent study of Africa, Susan told her fellow students how she watched as her father was killed outside her home in Sudan when she was five years old. She lost her mother as the family fled the country. Susan survived years of abuse in a refugee camp in Kenya before being rescued and brought to Boulder. After three weeks in Boulder, 15 year-old Susan was left on her own. She now receives some support from Congregation Har HaShem and Friends of Sudanese American Men and Women Organization.

Susan is expected to survive. Looking forward, Susan faces a slow recovery and years of surgeries. What few possessions Susan owned were lost in the fire. In addition, she and her brothers have lost their financial lifeline.

We have set up a fund at First Community Bank to support Susan. We urge you to make a financial gift to the Susan Moi Fund, c/o Catalyst High School, 2575 Park Lane, Suite 100, Lafayette, CO 80026.

You can also send your contribution to the Susan Moi Fund, c/o First Community Bank 2695 N. Park Drive, Suite 101, Lafayette, Colorado 80026 or visit any of the First Community Bank branches in Boulder, Lafayette, Longmont, Louisville, Broomfield and Erie to contribute by credit card.

For additional information about Susan's situation you can visit 9 News

PS: look what I found in my inbox after I posted this entry! One of Alan Cohen's Daily Inspiration quotations:

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

-- Winston Churchill

on repeat tonight ...

heard Joan Osborne's remake of Cathedrals on the radio today, and went on a quest to find the original. Some music is just so deeply satisfying ... I wonder why that is?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3i8R3JJVGk



here's Joan's version:

I'm inventing a new disorder: AASF

It's 1:53, and I have not moved from the bouncy ball that is my desk chair since I woke up this morning.

I just remembered that I had to put the mail out, and when I went downstairs I found my kitchen in a state of disaster. I forgot that I bought new pots and pans yesterday, and they are scattered on every available flat surface waiting for their first bath. (Ooh, and I'm so excited about them! Lots of research went into this purchase. If you care about these things, you can see what we finally decided on here. Aren't they lovely? http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?DeptID=58043&CatID=58043&Grptyp=PRD&ItemId=14e85ee )

While it's been suggested by some who know me well that I probably have an attention deficit disorder, I think it's more like an overabundance of attention coupled with an inability to make myself stick with things I find uninteresting. I can easily get so focused on just one exciting thing that I ignore virtually everything else.

It's kinda like when you were a kid and your mom tried to call you to dinner while you were watching Batman on TV and her voice could not penetrate your awareness. Or did that only happen to me?

Anyhoo, I'm affectionately naming my vanity disorder Abundantly Attentive Selective Focus, or AASF. It has kind of a nice ring to it, dontcha think? I could also call it I Only Pay Attention To Things I Find Very Interesting, but I think IOPATTIFVI might be a bit too long to catch on.

I know some other people who have AASF, too. I like them a lot.

Wouldn't it be cool if some kids with ADHD got re-labeled with my disorder instead? We could just use their level of attention as a barometer for their interest, and help them fully immerse themselves in learning and creating in the areas they feel passionate about.

Hey, that reminds me of Schoolhouse Rock!. Those people had my number! Put it to music, and I'll remember it forever. I can still sing you the preamble to the Constitution, the function of conjunctions, or how a bill becomes a law...

falling leaves

What is the variable that determines which leaves remain on a tree after a blustery autumn windstorm?

I went for a walk on a windy day, and there were colors swirling down all around me. Then I looked up into the branches of the trees, and noticed plenty of leaves flying like flags, stems still firmly bound to their tiny wooden flagpoles.

Why did they stay attached after the others had let go or were torn away? I would have thought that a ferocious wind would just strip the trees bare, but it doesn't. Some tenacious leaves always remain.

So who's in control here? It's clearly not the wind. Who or what decides when each leaf will fall? Is it up to the individual? Does each leaf have its own karma, destiny, or fate? Is it random? Does Mother Nature roll the dice to determine who stays and who goes?

Or perhaps it is more like a kindergartener's tooth falling out, or a woman going into labor and giving birth -- guided by a mysterious inner timing that is beyond our understanding or influence.

Somehow I find it comforting that I can't figure this out. I like that there are forces and rhythms at play around me that defy comprehension. It cracks me up that even a gale force wind cannot bully a tiny leaf into falling one second before its time has come.

I bet the leaves don't waste a moment of their lives feeling concerned about when they will fall. No predictions, no worry, no prevention. They just soak up the sun and the rain until the moment they drop.

Hmm.

an article written by a dear friend of mine

This article by my friend Jo, who I've known for over 20 years, chronicles the unfolding of a magical synchronicity. Enjoy!

A Story About Dimes
By Jo Pabon, LaGrange, Illinois

My mother, Harriet Cimock, grew up in Corning, a small farming town in southwest Iowa. She raised five kids and was married to my dad for 58 years. She was a farm wife, helpmate, and spent much of her time making rosaries and small blankets for hospitals and nursing homes. She loved to read and loved garage sales. She had a lifetime collection of butterflies; pictures, statues, butterflies in every shape and size. She was very active in her church; a small country church she and my dad attended for more thanfifty years. She went on many fishing trips with my dad and became very good at cleaning fish! She was kind hearted, soft spoken, dependable, patient, humble, and good spirited.

My mom had a normal mammogram and physical in April 2007. As part of her physical, her doctor recommended she get a shingles vaccine. My dad had had a bad bout with shingles, so my mom got the shot. (The CDC now recommends it to all over the age of 60.) Shortly after the vaccine, she started getting a rash on her chest. The doctor diagnosed it as shingles - she was one who happened to get shingles from the shot, she was told.

My mom visited me in Illinois the end of June 2007. She showed me her "spots." I could tell that they were troubling her. She was not a complainer, and she seemed distracted by them. After her return home the spots were not getting any better. She had a biopsy, and it tested positive for Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Treatment for my mom began immediately; chemotherapy, with hopes of radiation and a mastectomy.

Back in Illinois with my family and still trying to accept the news, a strange occurrence started happening. I started finding dimes. Dimes - too many to ignore. Not quarters, nickels, or pennies ... but dimes. Dimes in unusual places - peeking out from under a baseboard, in the back of a dusty broom closet, washer, dryer, when making the bed, in the shower(?), in driveways - dimes and more dimes. It became almost comical. After about a month of finding too many to be a coincidence, I told my good friend, Vicki, about it. She started finding dimes too! We would joke about where we had found one, and somehow it would make it a good day.

In October I returned to Iowa to be with my mom. She was not doing well. No amount of chemo seemed to keep up with this rapidly spreading cancer. She kept her good spirits and attitude of "It will either get better or get worse." One day I went to chemo with her and after the session was over she stood up from the chair and under her was .... a dime. I returned home and the dime finding continued - in an old forgotten coat pocket, a windowsill, taxi cab, store parking lots. My three kids and husband were finding dimes too. We were amassing quite a collection. Unfortunately, my mom's decline continued. She never did make it to the point of radiation or mastectomy. She fought the disease with gentle, but courageous suffering, faith and acceptance and passed away on December 18, 2007 - just five months after her diagnosis.

Her service at their country church was beautiful. She had planned everything in advance, from the music to her obituary. She loved butterflies and her memorial was filled with butterflies and beautiful picture boards of her life. After her service we were returning funeral flowers back to the house. I lifted up a big vase and underneath it was ..... a dime. I had another surprise at her house. My siblings and I were starting to sort through her things. (She loved those garage sales.) I opened a cabinet and was shocked at what I saw. A clear, plastic piggy bank right before my eyes. You could see every coin in the bank and there was one kind of coin in there - it was packed with only dimes! My brother mentioned that he had given my mom a bank several years earlier and he went to the bedroom to find it. He returned and turned it over on the table top. We could not believe our eyes as the dimes started pouring out!

I returned home after the funeral trying to accept the suddenness of all of this. My mom was always so healthy. She exercised, did not drink or smoke, loved her fruits and vegetables, stayed out of the sun, and followed her doctor's orders - all the right things. Her mother and grandmother had lived well into their nineties. My mother was only 76 - still so much life ahead of her. My dad and mom had been married for 58 years and he was lost. He came for a visit and in sharing stories with him and my four siblings, they were starting to have dime stories of their own. It was comforting for us - made us all laugh and smile.

One day I was searching for breast cancer awareness items on the internet. I came across a picture of a pink breast cancer pin and next to it in the photo was a dime! The ad said the dime was in the picture to show the size of the pin. That was a light bulb moment for me. It was not right that we would save all our dimes and sit around and look at the pile.We were to pass them on for a good cause and what better cause than breast cancer research and awareness. I knew the dimes would really multiply once we started passing them on.

We have a special jar in the kitchen, and my family knows right where to put their "found" dimes. As the jar fills, we will keep donating towards finding a cure. My nine-year old son even cashed in his $25 savings, converted them to dimes, and added them to the jar. Our friends are saving their dimes too. Everyone can spare a dime, right? I have two beautiful reminders of my mom - every time I see a butterfly and every time I find a dime. (Or should I say - a dime finds me?!) On my first Mother's Day without my mom, I found two dimes - one for me and one for her? On her birthday, May 30th, we counted our dimes and sent in a donation in her memory to the Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation. We are saving our dimes once again and know there will be more coming our way.

Thanks, Mom!