you can both have what you want

I love today's quote from Abraham-Hicks.
(http://www.abraham-quotes.com)


The Universe can please all of you at the same time. "Well, how can that be? If I want to live in the mountains and she wants to live at the ocean, how could the Universe possibly please us both?" And we say, as each of you gets to the essence of why you want what you want, and are not pointing at the other and saying, "No, no, not that, please not that," the Universe can fulfill both. Be playful. Know that it's going to be alright no matter what. Have as much fun as you can. Be as easy as you can. Don't take anything very seriously, because everything blows over, good and bad. You can't stand still. So nothing lasts very long. The best of experiences you must move beyond — and the worst of experiences you must move beyond. Don't make where you are too big of a deal. Let it be what it is: It's a moment in time where you have the choice to feel good or feel bad. That's all that it ever is.

Isn't that great? And so true. Most conflicts can be easily resolved when we focus on describing the essence of our wish.

Usually when we say what we want, we are describing a strategy for getting a certain outcome. For example, let's say you and your partner are having a disagreement about where to spend your weekend. He wants the mountains, you want the beach.

When you say "I want to go to the beach," you are describing a strategy for achieving a certain state; probably some version of recreation and relaxation. When we uncover the essential quality that the strategy is designed to bring us, new options present themselves. The beach might represent a particularly satisfying kind of scenery, temperature, sound, texture, or scent to you.

If it turns out that what you REALLY want is not 'the beach', but simply a particular flavor of R&R, well, that need can be met with many different strategies. When we distill the need beneath the strategy, we can more easily find common ground, and generate ideas that will meet both of our needs.

In this case, a mountain lake or a beach with cliffs could turn out to be a destination that is deeply satisfying to you both. In any case, becoming aware of the need underneath the proposed strategy fosters your own self-knowledge as well as intimacy with your partner. Which leads me right into today's quote from Alan Cohen:

Your issues do not retard forward movement; they propel it.

-- Alan Cohen

ah-ha!!!

Nor do your issues retard intimacy.

They invite it.


:)