full bloom

a few years ago my friend shared some wisdom regarding making decisions that she had learned from one of her teachers in Boulder.

If you do not feel a CLEAR YES, then the answer is NO.

It is no coincidence that this phrase surfaced from the depths of my memory right now. You all know I have been dating lately ... need I say more?

okay, but I will anyway.

Dating has been a perfect arena for me to practice this in. Particularly since I am dating with the intention of finding a life partner. There are so many degrees of maybe! And maybe is still not yes. I would add to the teaching that luckily, in most cases, there is no hurry, and we can almost always wait a while for clarity to surface.

but sometimes, no matter how long you wait, the only input you receive from your inner guidance is just a murky sort of maybe. I appreciate the reminder that this still qualifies in the final analysis as a NO.

Until recently, I had forgotten what a clear yes really felt like. I had almost convinced myself that a solid maybe was equivalent to a yes.

I am happy to report that I now remember! A clear yes is not doused in adrenaline. It is not dreamy and ungrounded, nor is it forced by pro and con lists or the mind in overdrive.

A clear yes is very quiet. It feels like the next logical step. It is not impatient or frantic or under any pressure at all to do anything. It simply whispers a peaceful and serene affirmation that is not vulnerable to doubt or suggestion.

In fact, what I have noticed about it this time that I forgot from before, (it has been a looong time!) is that it almost does not say anything in words. It is more of a feeling of appropriateness coming from the body rather than a verbal suggestion from the mind. There is really no way to argue with it.

I better reveal my agenda in telling you this: I am hoping to inspire you to take a few minutes to calibrate yourself to your own Yes. Remember how it feels to stand beyond the shadow of a doubt.

Isn't that a great visual? Beyond the shadow of a doubt. Beyond the place where darkness can impact the light. For major decisions, that feeling is worth waiting for. And if it does not come, then you are probably safe in assuming that your truth is NO.